I woke up this morning with two questions on my mind: (and no, one was not, “Do I have time to run to the local coffee shop before my family wakes up?”) “Is what I’m doing in alignment with where I want to go in my life both personally and professionally?” and “What are the things I can do now to move my Big ideas, dreams, and goals forward at a faster pace?” These are two essential questions that all smart women should be asking themselves on a regular basis.

Have you ever been in a situation in your business or personal life where you are frustrated with the process or outcome?  Do you ever find yourself asking, “How did I get here?” or “How did this happen?”  This is why it is so important to make sure that your actions and decisions are in alignment with where you want to go.  An example would be taking on a client or project that you know is not a good fit because you don’t want to say no to the work.  Or maybe you commit to an outing with friends or family because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  We, as women, tend to say “Yes!” too often and become frustrated with the outcome because we are “nurturers by nature” and we tend to the needs of others before our own.

Is your current action plan moving you forward at a faster pace toward your goals?  I exercise in Santa Monica in an area where a few of the running clubs meet to train for the LA Marathon.  If you are training for the Marathon, you can choose to do this on your own or you can train with a running club, which appears to move everyone forward at a faster, healthier, injury-free pace.

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Last week, I was having a conversation with another smart woman and we found ourselves on a familiar topic to many people with children:  schools and education.  This woman has children in middle school and high school and she was sharing with me that the schools have two tracks in which to receive an education.  As you might imagine, one is perceived as better than the other.  As I reflect on this conversation, I had to smile.  It seems our children are really no different than we are.  We, too, must stay on the “right” track with the “right” environment and the “right” teachers around us if we are to realize our dreams, goals, and ideas.

Last week I shared with you some thoughts on why creating the “right” external environment is essential to leading a meaningful life.  Having a home, office, and relationships that provide harmony will help you create more of what you want in life.  Today, I want to share some ideas with you about your internal environment.  What’s an internal environment?  It’s your internal voice, your authentic self—your core.  As in our home, office, and relationships, we need to clear away the clutter in our own self-talk to allow abundant thoughts to flow into our lives.  We become what we focus on.  If we find ourselves focusing on negative thoughts and judgmental self-talk, we tend to project this into our world and the world around us.  I often take time to listen to my own internal voice.  I’m curious to learn what I might be thinking but not actually saying outloud.  I ask myself a couple of questions to gauge where I am:  Are my thoughts positive?  Negative?  Judgmental?  Am I in a place of possibility thinking or is it “doom and gloom?”  In my work with women, I encourage them to stay in possibility thinking.

How about you?  Do you have an inner critic?  Does she carry on a positive conversation with creative thoughts and calming words or is she judging you in every situation you encounter?  Does she have empathy for other people that you come into contact with or does she say something like, “You think you have it bad, wait until I tell you my story!” 

I invite you to take an inventory of your internal environment.  Your internal voice needs to be “right” if you want to manifest a new way of being.  If you are ready to step into a new journey and want to create something different in your life, your internal voice needs to speak the same language.  Practice creating a regular habit of gratitude.  One immediately comes to mind.  In Los Angeles, parking is a premium.  When all of a sudden a space opens up, I take a moment to give gratitude and if there is time left on the meter–wow, double-gratitude!   It’s about finding the silver lining, even in simple things.  Dwell on your accomplishments more often.  Review what’s working rather than criticizing what’s not working in your life.  Focus on finding simple solutions in your life to improve a situation and make it better.

If you have a BIG idea, dream or goal that you want to realize, it’s essential that you create the “right” environment in your home, office, relationships, and with yourself in order to make it happen.  I will leave you with a familiar quote that I’ve been thinking about this morning that seems ideal:  “We must be the change we wish to see in the world.” — Gandhi 

Anything is possible. Everything is waiting for you. 

© 2008 Joy Chudacoff

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Recently, I took a road trip with my family from Los Angeles to Napa Valley, California.  During my visit I learned that it takes a different environment (soil, temperature, irrigation) to grow different types of grapes to make wine.  For example, you cannot create a great tasting chardonnay when you are in an environment that creates great Pinot Noir.  This got me thinking about how important our environment is when we are creating something new in our lives.

We all have dreams and ideas that we want to manifest.  It could be starting a new business, a new relationship, a fitness routine, a new career, etc.  What I have observed in many people (including myself at times) is that we make a plan to accomplish our dreams and ideas, but often neglect to create an environment that supports our road to success.  We have both an external environment and an internal environment.  What’s the difference?  Your external environment is your home, your office, the community where you live, and relationships you have with other people.  Your internal environment is your authentic self, your internal voice – your core.  Today I’m going to share some thoughts with you about your external environment. 

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I was sitting in a park recently watching my children play with their grandparents and all at once I heard this deep, booming voice from a distance say, “You must make contact if you want to stay in the game.” I turned to my left and saw a coach working with a girl’s softball team – instructing them on their swing and explaining the importance of making contact between the bat and ball at just the right moment.

This made me think about the idea of contact. For me, contact is about making connections in the relationships I care about – both personally and professionally. If you look up connection in the dictionary, its meaning is “linking things together, the joining of two or more parts or people.” How are you linking people, things, and places together in your life? Are you connecting on a regular basis with yourself, your mind, your body, your relationships, and your creativity?

Given our busy lives as women, we have to be very intentional about making contact with others. Whatever path you choose as a woman – be it career-focused, family-focused, or an integration of the two, making contact and connections is important. Why? Because connecting is vital to our survival in this game called living a meaningful life.

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Do you remember what you were like at age 10?  It’s right before our hormones kick in and societal expectations begin to manipulate our thinking.  I remember when I was 10.  I was outgoing, outspoken, with empathy and support for those in need.  This got me thinking about becoming who we are authentically at a young age.  We begin the process of “becoming” and then something happens along the way.  Why? 

I want you to take a moment now to picture yourself at age 10:  What were your hobbies?  What were you thinking?  What stands out?  I will share a very quick story with you about me when I was 10.  It had a profound effect on the shape of my thinking, moving forward in my life.  I had a friend, Kit Wilcox (not her real name) and she lived in a home that was not filled with love and nurturing.  She had a step-mother who was quite beautiful. When you saw Kit’s step-mother and step-sister in the community, both of them were always dressed in beautiful clothes.  However, Kit was not allowed these luxuries.  Kit wore old, outdated and tattered dresses and old scuffed shoes to school every day.  She was embarrassed and it affected the outcome of her day. 

One day, I got this big idea that I would bring clothes in a bag each day to school and Kit would change quickly, before school started every morning and then again at the end of the school day, before she climbed on the bus to go home.  Kit loved the idea and we pulled this off for what seemed like a long time (probably a week or two now that I reflect on it) and then we got caught.  Kit missed the bus one day because she was changing clothes in the bathroom and she finally admitted to her step-mother why she missed the bus.  Needless to say, we were all in the principal’s office the next morning.  There was a rule that you could not share or exchange clothes with other children at school.

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