Do you remember what you were like at age 10?  It’s right before our hormones kick in and societal expectations begin to manipulate our thinking.  I remember when I was 10.  I was outgoing, outspoken, with empathy and support for those in need.  This got me thinking about becoming who we are authentically at a young age.  We begin the process of “becoming” and then something happens along the way.  Why? 

I want you to take a moment now to picture yourself at age 10:  What were your hobbies?  What were you thinking?  What stands out?  I will share a very quick story with you about me when I was 10.  It had a profound effect on the shape of my thinking, moving forward in my life.  I had a friend, Kit Wilcox (not her real name) and she lived in a home that was not filled with love and nurturing.  She had a step-mother who was quite beautiful. When you saw Kit’s step-mother and step-sister in the community, both of them were always dressed in beautiful clothes.  However, Kit was not allowed these luxuries.  Kit wore old, outdated and tattered dresses and old scuffed shoes to school every day.  She was embarrassed and it affected the outcome of her day. 

One day, I got this big idea that I would bring clothes in a bag each day to school and Kit would change quickly, before school started every morning and then again at the end of the school day, before she climbed on the bus to go home.  Kit loved the idea and we pulled this off for what seemed like a long time (probably a week or two now that I reflect on it) and then we got caught.  Kit missed the bus one day because she was changing clothes in the bathroom and she finally admitted to her step-mother why she missed the bus.  Needless to say, we were all in the principal’s office the next morning.  There was a rule that you could not share or exchange clothes with other children at school.

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In my Success Circles, women create vision boards which represent their big ideas, dreams and plans for living a life filled with energy, passion and purpose.  I invite them to bring in favorite photos or magazines they enjoy reading, as possibilities for their board.  This week, Dawn, a Circle member (and smart woman) brought in “The Big Book of Action Stickers.”  It was a big colorful book filled with stickers for just about everything you can imagine from animals to people.  As I flipped through the pages, it got me thinking about how simple it is to become who you want to be in the world.

Have you ever watched a child take an action sticker and place it somewhere on their body?  They instantly become their version of who that sticker represents to them.  When my daughter puts on a “Batman” sticker, you better believe that she is Batman.  Same thing with Spider-Man (for those of you who know Jenna—she is not going to put on a Cinderella sticker!) Children have this incredible imagination that they can become anything they choose.  My son Jack, will tell you with great confidence that he is going to be both a professional baseball and basketball player.  You may be reading this and thinking, “Oh well, children have such a big imagination.”  Yes, they certainly do.

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Last Friday, my children and I went to an Eco-Fest at my son’s school. It offered creative ways to think about living organically and sustaining our planet. At one point my 5 year old daughter Jenna wandered to a booth a few feet away from me, and I noticed that she became very focused on what they were doing. Minutes later, she appeared with something wrapped inside recycled paper that she was carrying very carefully. “Look Mom, I’ve made a pumpkin plant. All we have to do is plant it when we get home and it will grow a pumpkin.” Jenna carried that recycled paper containing dirt and pumpkin seeds with such care for the rest of the afternoon. She was so proud and excited about what she had created, as well as the future when the seeds grow into an actual pumpkin. This got me thinking about women in the world who are carrying their big ideas, dreams, and goals with them—-have you planted them so they will grow, or do you continue to carry them around—possibly in recycled paper, or maybe in your mind?

There are ideas and dreams that we all get excited about, but we never plant the seed or grow the idea. Why? What happens? Life happens. We get busy doing our “to do” list in life. Some of the “to do” list is vital and important and some of it is just plain filler that keeps us from living a life full of energy, passion, and purpose where we are realizing our big ideas and dreams. How do I know this? My daughter Jenna carefully carried her seeds wrapped loosely in paper all afternoon through the event and then home. She put it on the kitchen counter and asked me, “Mom, when will we plant the pumpkin seeds so I can grow a pumpkin?” Do you notice how she said that? She was already realizing her idea before it had occurred. Not only will she plant the seed but it will grow! (more…)

I took my daughter Jenna to her Karate class the other day, and after the instructor welcomed all of the children to the class he asked them to “paint your magic circle around you.” I sat there and watched a group of children take their hands and paint an imaginary circle around their bodies and sit down. This exercise was, of course, the instructors attempt to keep 12 five year-olds from running around the room doing things that weren’t meaningful, so that they could stay focused. This got me to thinking about how women “paint magic circles” around their lives as well.

Thankfully, women have a lot of choices in our society today. This can be both good and bad news. Why? Because we can do it all and we do it all very well. Sometimes I think we paint too many “magic circles.” We have the opportunity to fulfill many roles —wife, partner, mom, career, entrepreneur, daughter, volunteer, caregiver, friend—did I leave anything out? With so many responsibilities demanding our time and attention, we need to paint a magic circle called “magic circle for me.” Given all that we do, we rarely take the time necessary for ourselves. It’s crucial that you paint a “magic circle” that is just for you, because you need a place where you can sit and reflect. A magic circle where you can sit and think about where you are right now and where you might want to go next. Sometimes we have “magic circles” where the paint is old, chipped and faded. It’s time to let go of that magic circle and create a new one. Remember, it’s magic, it’s imaginary—you can change it if you want to. Here’s the problem with this sometimes. (more…)

The other day as we were driving to school, my daughter Jenna boldly stated, “Mom, for my birthday, I want a Pogo Stick.” This statement made me curious so I asked her, “Jenna, why do you want a Pogo Stick?” Jenna’s reply was “Mom, it’s easy. You just get on, fall off, get back up, and get on again. Then you learn how to do it.” Very true, my adventurous 5- year old. As we continued down pacific coast highway, this answer got me thinking about achieving goals and dreams and the process we need to go through before really making the impossible possible in our lives.

There are times when we have a big idea or goal and we might take a step toward making it happen. However, we will often come across a challenge or obstacle that stops us in our tracks. Unfortunately, we may give up on our goals, without getting back on our “stick.” Didn’t we all go through this process, as kids, learning how to ride a bike without the training wheels — lots of skinned knees!? (more…)