Recently, as I was leaving my bank in Los Angeles, I saw a stack of magazines near the door, entitled “Life After 50.” And if you have followed the media trail this past week, it’s all about Madonna turning 50.  This is a big deal in our society where youth typically rules.  Here’s a woman who has been a media icon for youth, beauty, talent, and sex appeal for decades. What’s the message? We as women have much to look forward to as we move into our 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond.  As Smart Women, we already knew this, didn’t we?

I can honestly say that after I turned 40 (I’m now 48), I began to feel quite comfortable with who I am.  I’m secure emotionally, mentally, and physically.   Am I perfect?  Whoa, I don’t think I will ever reach “perfection” (and these peri-menopausal symptoms are annoying!), but I sure do like what I think, feel, and see today.  However, that was not always the case.  When I was in my 20’s and early 30’s, I would question my own ideas frequently.  I also cared a lot more about what other people thought.  And, while I’m comfortable in my decisions, I make sure to keep my trusted coaches, advisors, and mentors close when I need them.

We’ve come a long way, baby! Just a short time ago, after age 50, many women were encouraged to move into the retirement process.  From 1925-1942, adult women were coined “the silent generation.”  Women stayed home, gave birth to babies, cooked, and cleaned. That was the “societal expectation.”  As we know, World War ll changed that course of thinking.

Today, in my work with women, it’s pretty darned exciting to see what women at age 40 and beyond are doing in their lives.  I have a theory about this.  In our early 20’s and 30’s, many of us go to college and obtain a degree in something that interests us at that moment in time.  We pursue our careers, and in some cases, we become involved in relationships and begin our families.  We either continue our career path and combine that with Motherhood or take a break to focus solely on family.  Whether you are a working inside the home or outside the home (or both!), a woman’s life becomes consumed with the effort of integrating home life with a work and personal life. Somewhere beyond our mid-30’s, we begin to ask ourselves the questions, “What’s next?”, “Is this it for me?”, “Could there possibly be something else for me in my future when my children are off to school?”  The questions begin rather quietly and sometimes with all of the noise coming from everything else in our lives—family, friends, career, we don’t hear them right away.  We begin to feel that something is not quite right.  As we see the age of 40 on the horizon, the voice becomes louder until we can no longer ignore it.

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I received a catalog in the mail the other day from a well-known company that provides fine cookware for the cooking enthusiast.  As I flipped through the pages, I came upon an ad for these whimsical cupcake pans that just looked like they would be fun to use.  I noticed at the end of the description that it read “Limited Lifetime” Warranty.  I laughed out loud!  My first thought was “thankfully!”  This got me thinking about how we go through life looking for that “Lifetime” Warranty and how it can cripple our decision-making and keep us a prisoner to predictability in our lives.

We struggle with decisions each and every day about so many aspects of our lives.  Some are crucial and some are not.  We struggle with where to eat, where to live, where to send our children to school, ending relationships that are no longer healthy for us, career decisions like going back to work or starting our own business.  Why do we struggle?  Well, I think it’s because we want to make a decision that has that “lifetime” warranty.  We want to make sure it’s the right decision.  We want it to be the right one for the rest of our lives.  As I write this sentence, it’s a bit scary to me.  The right decision for the rest of my life!  But what if I change my mind?  What if circumstances change and I want to do something different?  I have been involved in a community effort recently that involves a decision that would make a big change in that community.  It’s a change that I think is necessary to keep moving forward.  There are those that are ready for the change knowing that, over time, even more change and new ways of thinking will need to be present.  There are others who are very uncomfortable with this.  They want the decision to hold that “lifetime” warranty for them.  They want this decision to be the right one forever.  Forever is a long time.  Forever rarely exists.  There are not many decisions that can last forever.

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Wow—what a passionate, rewarding, fun-filled week!

On Sunday night, I attended the 10th Annual Benefit Concert for Women at Risk, at the Avalon, in Hollywood. I had the extreme privilege of listening to the amazing voice of Linda Eder (www.LindaEder.com) who performed, along with her band, the most incredible songs. She and her band gave the gift of their time and talent to this worthy cause. She sang many songs from her new album, “The Other Side of Me” and I rushed home to go online and purchase it for myself. Linda has been following her passion of creating music since she was 19.

Then, on Tuesday, I went to my son Jack’s spring concert at his school where he sang his first solo! All of the children put on a beautiful performance full of smiles and animation.

On Thursday, I had the honor of speaking to the Women Entrepreneurs of Santa Clarita Valley. Tera McHugh has done a fantastic job of putting together a format where women business owners can come together, network and grow their businesses. You can visit them at www.weofscv.com. The women I met there were passionate, energetic and full of possibilities about their businesses.

Even though my week was extremely busy (which I love), I still had time for plenty of “possibility thinking.” Check out today’s article for more about that.

Be well,

Joy

PS. Welcome to all of our new newsletter subscribers from the Women Entrepreneurs of Santa Clarita Valley!

Last week I went to Santa Barbara to a yearly conference that is hosted by The Hudson Institute, which is where I proudly received my coaching certification some time ago. It was a time to reconnect with peers and deepen my own growth and learning about my work.

The speakers were full of knowledge and spoke with an energetic passion that was contagious. If you’ve been “too busy” lately to attend your own professional development conferences or maybe you have seen a seminar or workshop that is interesting and you just can’t seem to “find the time,” I invite you to make the commitment. Register for the event, get it on your calendar and Go! To be in a community with other people who share your love for a topic or hobby is great fun and re-energizing.

And if you think you need “permission” to do something like this, don’t miss my article today.

Be well,

 Joy

Today is April 3rd and Spring has definitely arrived! I have spoken with so many women over the last week who are “planting their seeds” to grow a dream or big idea. It’s the perfect time of year to take action on creating your preferred life. If you missed last week’s article about “planting your seeds”, you can read it here.

I have had the opportunity to spend a lot of “special time” with my 5 year old daughter Jenna, who just returned to pre-school this week after a 2 week Spring Break. I think the best part about spending time with Jenna is holding hands. When we leave our front door or exit the car, the outstretched hand appears immediately. If you have older children, you know that holding hands does not always last forever. I invite you to hold the hand of someone who’s special to you. It really does make a difference.

If you want to learn about how important it is to keep your door open, don’t miss my article today.
Be well,

Joy

PS. I’d like to extend a very warm welcome to all of the new “Reflections” subscribers that I met at last weeks Wonderful Online Women LA event.

PPS. April 22 is Earth Day and in honor of this, our weekly ezine will give you some smart and simple solutions on how you to can “go green.” Both Jack and Jenna’s teachers are focused on recycling and teaching them how they can make a difference with small acts to preserve our planet. Please share what you do in your home that’s “green” by leaving a comment here on my blog.