Recently, I took a road trip with my family from Los Angeles to Napa Valley, California.  During my visit I learned that it takes a different environment (soil, temperature, irrigation) to grow different types of grapes to make wine.  For example, you cannot create a great tasting chardonnay when you are in an environment that creates great Pinot Noir.  This got me thinking about how important our environment is when we are creating something new in our lives.

We all have dreams and ideas that we want to manifest.  It could be starting a new business, a new relationship, a fitness routine, a new career, etc.  What I have observed in many people (including myself at times) is that we make a plan to accomplish our dreams and ideas, but often neglect to create an environment that supports our road to success.  We have both an external environment and an internal environment.  What’s the difference?  Your external environment is your home, your office, the community where you live, and relationships you have with other people.  Your internal environment is your authentic self, your internal voice – your core.  Today I’m going to share some thoughts with you about your external environment. 

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I was sitting in a park recently watching my children play with their grandparents and all at once I heard this deep, booming voice from a distance say, “You must make contact if you want to stay in the game.” I turned to my left and saw a coach working with a girl’s softball team – instructing them on their swing and explaining the importance of making contact between the bat and ball at just the right moment.

This made me think about the idea of contact. For me, contact is about making connections in the relationships I care about – both personally and professionally. If you look up connection in the dictionary, its meaning is “linking things together, the joining of two or more parts or people.” How are you linking people, things, and places together in your life? Are you connecting on a regular basis with yourself, your mind, your body, your relationships, and your creativity?

Given our busy lives as women, we have to be very intentional about making contact with others. Whatever path you choose as a woman – be it career-focused, family-focused, or an integration of the two, making contact and connections is important. Why? Because connecting is vital to our survival in this game called living a meaningful life.

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Do you remember what you were like at age 10?  It’s right before our hormones kick in and societal expectations begin to manipulate our thinking.  I remember when I was 10.  I was outgoing, outspoken, with empathy and support for those in need.  This got me thinking about becoming who we are authentically at a young age.  We begin the process of “becoming” and then something happens along the way.  Why? 

I want you to take a moment now to picture yourself at age 10:  What were your hobbies?  What were you thinking?  What stands out?  I will share a very quick story with you about me when I was 10.  It had a profound effect on the shape of my thinking, moving forward in my life.  I had a friend, Kit Wilcox (not her real name) and she lived in a home that was not filled with love and nurturing.  She had a step-mother who was quite beautiful. When you saw Kit’s step-mother and step-sister in the community, both of them were always dressed in beautiful clothes.  However, Kit was not allowed these luxuries.  Kit wore old, outdated and tattered dresses and old scuffed shoes to school every day.  She was embarrassed and it affected the outcome of her day. 

One day, I got this big idea that I would bring clothes in a bag each day to school and Kit would change quickly, before school started every morning and then again at the end of the school day, before she climbed on the bus to go home.  Kit loved the idea and we pulled this off for what seemed like a long time (probably a week or two now that I reflect on it) and then we got caught.  Kit missed the bus one day because she was changing clothes in the bathroom and she finally admitted to her step-mother why she missed the bus.  Needless to say, we were all in the principal’s office the next morning.  There was a rule that you could not share or exchange clothes with other children at school.

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I received a catalog in the mail the other day from a well-known company that provides fine cookware for the cooking enthusiast.  As I flipped through the pages, I came upon an ad for these whimsical cupcake pans that just looked like they would be fun to use.  I noticed at the end of the description that it read “Limited Lifetime” Warranty.  I laughed out loud!  My first thought was “thankfully!”  This got me thinking about how we go through life looking for that “Lifetime” Warranty and how it can cripple our decision-making and keep us a prisoner to predictability in our lives.

We struggle with decisions each and every day about so many aspects of our lives.  Some are crucial and some are not.  We struggle with where to eat, where to live, where to send our children to school, ending relationships that are no longer healthy for us, career decisions like going back to work or starting our own business.  Why do we struggle?  Well, I think it’s because we want to make a decision that has that “lifetime” warranty.  We want to make sure it’s the right decision.  We want it to be the right one for the rest of our lives.  As I write this sentence, it’s a bit scary to me.  The right decision for the rest of my life!  But what if I change my mind?  What if circumstances change and I want to do something different?  I have been involved in a community effort recently that involves a decision that would make a big change in that community.  It’s a change that I think is necessary to keep moving forward.  There are those that are ready for the change knowing that, over time, even more change and new ways of thinking will need to be present.  There are others who are very uncomfortable with this.  They want the decision to hold that “lifetime” warranty for them.  They want this decision to be the right one forever.  Forever is a long time.  Forever rarely exists.  There are not many decisions that can last forever.

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Summer afternoons are the perfect time to grab a cold drink and enjoy a great book. There are so many books to choose from and I know most of the magazines right now are recommending the “New Arrival” books on the shelves. After reflecting on this, I decided that I would offer you a list of 9 books that have really touched me over the last 25 years. These are all non-fiction with the exception of maybe one. Enjoy!

1. And Ladies of The Club – Helen Hooven Santmyer
2. The Shell Seekers - Rosamund Pilcher
3. Beach Music - Pat Conroy
4. The Gold Coast - Nelson DeMille
5. The Bridges of Madison County - Robert James Waller
6. The Elegant Gathering of White Snows - Kris Radish
7. The Secret Life of Bees - Sue Monk Kidd
8. Hill Towns and Outer Banks - Anne Rivers Siddons (every book she writes is excellent - I’ve read them all!)
9. Author Sue Grafton - Every book she writes is excellent. They are murder mysteries and she has her resident detective, Kinsey Milhone, a young 30-something woman who works on each and every case. Kinsey’s character is one to love.

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